Positive self affirmations? Shmositive shelf shaffirmations....you get the idea.

Last week we talked about owning your voice (I'm actually doing a little workshop on Wednesday 31st August, 12pm in The Enlightened Singer on Facebook on this subject if you fancy joining us. Click here to go join the group) but I have been thinking a bit about self esteem in general this week.

So, I have always, well in the past, had pretty low self esteem. I used to think I was a pretty horrible person, not sure why, but I did. However, not sure what happened recently but I now think I'm OK. I'm not a horrible person. I'm friendly, I'm supportive, I'm.... can't think of anything else without this turning into some sort of positive affirmation post.

It's not one of those posts, don't worry. If you follow my Facebook page you will have seen I have been posting more than usual. Live videos and some videos of me singing for a challenge I'm doing with The Sing Space at the moment. For some reason I've been feeling a little more content recently. Perhaps it's because I'm on my summer break (although that is over in 6 days 😢) and I've had more time to do whatever I want. Anyway, this feeling of contentment has lead me to a boost in self confidence and I decided to share my challenge videos with you lovely lot on the Incompetent Soprano Facebook and Instagram pages. 

Of course I can't help thinking people will think I'm being self indulgent and blowing my own trumpet but, the simple fact is, my pages are my pages and if someone doesn't like it, or me, they can choose not to follow me anymore. We really shouldn't chase likes and follows on social media. It all means nothing really. It's not real, nobody really shows their true selves on social media. We all try to make out we have wonderful, perfect lives when the reality is, often, far from wonderful and perfect. 

As I said though, I'm feeling pretty content and am also feeling like I don't mind so much what anybody thinks about me. I'm sure this feeling will change and evolve and I will have days where the whole world is against me but I think it's important to note things like this when we're feeling content and confident. I'm going to post what I want, when I want on my social media and I don't care if everyone tuts and rolls their eyes, it's my social media profile to do with what I want!

Consistency: the mother of productivity......or summat like that.

So, as you know, if you follow me in any way, I have not been particularly consistent when it comes to writing this, or any other, blog. The more I think about it, the more I think the lovely lady who got in touch to suggest I may have adult ADHD may have been on to something. Don't worry, that's not what I'm going to talk about as I don't know anything about it and can only talk about what I do know about.

I have many irons in many fires at the moment. I run 4 choirs a week during term time, teach for a local dance school 3 days a week, teach privately 2 days a week and I'm trying to start producing online courses. This has led to some incredible overwhelm, procrastination and some daily watching of Friends (from the very beginning). Thankfully, right now, I am on my Summer break so it is not the end of the world to sit around doing nothing for a while but I have a long, LONG to do list that isn't getting any smaller.

I may have mentioned before that I am obsessed with webinars and doing free challenges on Facebook, well, one challenge I wanted to start today was a Go Live for 21 Days challenge but I have managed to talk myself out of it. How and why have I done this I hear you ask!

Firstly, why would ANYONE want to listen to me? I know I have very little in the way of self esteem so this isn't really a ridiculous question, however, let's turn that around, why WOULDN'T anyone want to listen to me? There will undoubtedly be some people who think I'm a bit of a knob, unfunny and boring BUT, and that BUT deserves the capital letters methinks, who cares if there are some who feel that way? You can not be all things to all people so I should really stop worrying and just do it.

In an effort to try and get used to recording lives on Facebook I set up my very own private Facebook group to practice in. It wasn't my idea, I have heard this suggested by a few online coaches as a way of getting used to filming yourself. I have done quite a bit of self taping in the past couple of years but recently I have had these raging doubts and worries that people will think I'm ridiculous. Or rather, more ridiculous than before.

As a woman on her own, of a certain age, I am very conscious of having to make some extra cash in order to have a slightly more financially secure future. Unfortunately one particular coach whose webinars I watch religiously says that we should not chase goals from a place of scarcity but from abundance. I still don't know how to do this but I am trying! What I am thinking, though, is if I can work on my consistency when it comes to posting in all my Facebook groups, Instagram accounts, Twitter et al perhaps I can grow my audiences and get a little closer to the financial stability I crave. In order to do this I need to get over myself and make sure I put myself in front on the right people, the people who will appreciate and want to hear what I have to say. To be fair, that includes you! Surely you wouldn't be here if you didn't want to hear what I have to say. Would you?

So, prepare for some consistency people! I am going to start the Go Live for 21 Days in about 5 minutes but don't worry, the 21 lives will not all be on my Incompetent Soprano Facebook page. I will spread the joy to my Songsations and Enlightened Singer pages as well. I wouldn't want to make a nuisance of myself! Perhaps if any of you are feeling anything remotely similar you could try embracing consistency as well. Let me know how you get on.

Just had to take a little unfiltered pic of my pigtails. 

Has nothing to do with this post!

Oh for the tech skills of a 6 year old!

I’ve had a pretty good couple of weeks. Nothing of much note has actually happened but I’m feeling more positive and motivated right now. I even just hoovered my flat and put a load of washing on so things must be looking up. I put it down to the fact that I have been getting out for my self-prescribed 10 minutes of daily exercise. As I think I mentioned, I made a few resolutions at the beginning of January, one of which was exercise every day for at least 10 minutes. I have slowly got my step count up to an average of 7000 per day, helped by listening to podcasts whilst walking.

Evidence I went for a walk!

I’m not writing this to gloat, particularly as it’s really not worth gloating about, but the motivation thing has been a problem for me for years now so any glimmer of hope that I am coming out of a funk is worth talking about just for myself (I apologise that you have to endure a post about it though, I really do). 

I still feel like I’m in limbo right now, as we are still in lockdown, and making big changes is probably not a great idea right now. However, I don’t think I need to make BIG changes anymore. Little changes to my mind set and getting up a little earlier in order to get more done will do for now methinks.

Don’t misunderstand, I still find myself sitting on my sofa staring into space for quite lengthy periods but I have noticed a definite increase in productivity. I mentioned my new venture  The 60 Second Singer on Instagram in my last post and I’ve already put out 6 videos. It could be construed as a bit of a vanity project but there are other reasons, other than showing off, I have for taking on this project.

Life has really changed in the past 20 years and the need for being somewhat tech savvy has grown exponentially. I’m not a total dunce when it comes to technology but my 6 year nephew probably knows more than I do. The reason I started The 60 Second Singer was twofold really. I wanted to hone my skills in producing videos and I also wanted to get more comfortable in front of a camera.

I have wonky teeth that I have been hugely self conscious about since I was a teenager but, unfortunately, I also used to have a real, deep seated fear of the dentist. I stopped going to the dentist when I was 16 and was almost 30 before I finally plucked up the courage to go again. Although I would love to have my teeth “fixed” I don’t have the time, or the money, to do it so I figured the only thing I could do was to start putting myself out there in video form in order to get over my self-hatred of my gnashers and other bits.

I am OBSESSED by other people’s teeth. When I watch tv or films, anything on a screen, I spend ages studying the teeth I see on the screen and constantly compare myself to them. I never measure up. I could just about cope with my wonkiness until about two years ago when one of my front teeth shifted and became even wonkier. So now is the time to make myself get comfortable with them. 

The videos I have been making are definitely helping but there’s a way to go yet. I just hope I can get better at them over time. So if you “follow” The 60 Second Singer please bear with me as I try to exceed the editing skills of my 6 year old nephew. The video below is from The 60 Second Singer so you can see what I've been up to, just don't look at my teeth!

Click here to see the video on Instagram

Burn (out), Baby Burn(out)!

I had started writing this post before Christmas as I was feeling a little like I couldn't cope anymore. Yet here we are in 2021 and I feel very different. 

I had an interesting Christmas, on my own down South and as I said in my last post, Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow I quite enjoyed the peace and quiet. The 3 weeks or so I had to myself was invaluable but I am now feeling a little restless. I know we probably shouldn't make any big life changes right now but something has to change, I think.

I had been feeling overwhelmed and like I needed the world to stop (pretty sure I'm not alone there) but now I feel overwhelmed in a different way. My energy levels are up thanks to the daily walks but my head is spinning with ideas but I don't feel I have a way to see the ideas through to fruition.

Does anyone else feel like we have far too much time to think? I suppose that question is aimed at the other singletons really as those of you with families, I imagine, have PLENTY to keep you occupied right now. It might not be things you want to be occupied with but your brain space is occupied nonetheless. I am having trouble catching my thoughts at the moment. I have loads of ideas but the second I start working on one idea another idea muscles in and tries to take over the part of my brain that is trying to sort out the original idea. This ultimately ends with me giving up and binge-watching summat on Netflix (other streaming sites are available). 

This is not a moaning post at all. It's more frustration. I have such friendly envy for all those people who are making things happen during this crazy time and just wish I could make things happen the way they do. I have started a couple of things but I am not able to get them out there so enough people see them. I have attended webinars galore on marketing and social media use but still can't seem to get the 1000 subscribers they say I should be able to get from watching their webinars. I'm not naive. I know watching a webinar isn't going to change things but it should be a start. Anyway, I'm sure something will click in to place eventually.

I'm not looking to be famous or a millionaire but I would like to pay my bills without worrying about how (wouldn't we all). But it's not even only about money, it's about feeling useful. I don't always feel useful. 

Well, I'm going to wrap it up there and leave you with of a pic of me looking like a snowman during my walk yesterday. Oh and if you don't mind, could you visit my new Instagram venture, The 60 Second Singer and give the page a follow? I'll be posting videos with little singing tips, tricks, techniques not longer than 60 seconds, hence the name. I really want to build this one into something, not sure what, yet, but definitely something.