Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin....

At the moment I am trying to build a new Facebook group called The Enlightened Singer (I think I've mentioned it before) and tomorrow there is a new blog post due out all about getting out of your comfort zone. This is not a carbon copy of that blog post so you could still read the other blog as well and I won't just be repeating myself, I promise!

I have been thinking about my comfort zone quite a lot recently. I don't push myself out of it very often. I am a big fan of routine and could really do with changing things up a little. I touched on this last week when talking about Olivia Newton John and how, in the words of Stephen King in The Shawshank Redemption, we should "get busy living or get busy dying" or words to that effect.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being comfortable but it could lead to a rather mundane and boring life if you're not careful. It's difficult to learn new things/skills as we get older. Our brains are not the sponges they were when we were children BUT that is not a reason not to try new experiences or walk down a different path once in a while.

I am really trying to curb my Netflix/Amazon/SkyGo addiction so that I can spend my free time doing something more practical and interesting rather than just watching box sets about unreal life and, for the most part, depressing myself. I just finished watching the entire 4 seasons of The Handmaid's Tale and I haven't been as depressed about the state of the world since I read George Orwell's 1984 but both are not real! They may turn out to be more real than we think and yes, there are elements pertinent to the world and they do, in some part, reflect life as we know it right now but there is no reason for me to get depressed thinking that I will end up like any of the people in those stories.

But I digress, a few years ago I read a book called The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. On the front cover it is described as "A course in discovering and recovering your creative self". There are many tasks you have to undertake along with daily journaling. One other thing she suggests is an "artist date". This is time you put aside for yourself every week aimed at nurturing your creative consciousness and your inner artist (whatever artist means to you - painter, writer, singer, dancer, actor etc...). So this could be a trip to a museum, a trip to the theatre/cinema, a dance class, a cookery class, anything that gives your inner artist a bit of inspiration or satisfaction. You go on this "date" alone. You don't take anyone but yourself with you and you just absorb something new. I used to do this religiously but haven't for quite a while now so I'm thinking it might be time to reintroduce this into my schedule.

Why don't you (as the old TV programme used to tell those of us of a certain age) just turn off your television set and go out and do something less boring instead! Take yourself out on an "artist's date". Do something different, something you don't often do, something you've never done or something you've been meaning to do. Something that might just push you ever so slightly out of your comfort zone. 

Why not let us know what you did by commenting on the post or on the Incompetent Soprano page on Facebook. Your activity might just inspire someone else and, as the toddlers say, sharing is caring!

PS If you want to join The Enlightened Singer just click here.

Oi! What's actually going on?

So, it has taken a while for the muse of inspiration to bash me over the head again but I think my head, in the words of Basil Fawlty, has just had a damn good thrashing. I don't think anything has been resolved but there is definite food for thought.

To be honest I wrote that opening paragraph about two weeks ago and can not for the life of me remember to what I was referring. However, I reckon I can make it work.

I have neglected this blog for a while, of course I was planning on stopping writing it altogether, then decided I didn't want to do that and then found myself forgetting to remember to write a new post. Anyway, here we are and I am going to carry on wrtiting until I think of something interesting to convey to you. Interestingly, well I think it's interesting, The Artist's Way asks you to do something similar to this in it's very first chapter.

I have spoken of The Artist's Way before. It helped me out a few years ago in getting my performers mojo back. Unfortunately it has been lost again somewhere between 2015 and today and I am in a quandary as to whether or not I bother looking for it. As a result of this state of indecisiveness I am contemplating dusting off my copy of The Artist's Way and giving it another go.

One of the first things The Artist's Way does is to get you to write, what they call, morning pages. 3 pages of stream of consciousness, no thinking, just write whatever comes into your head. A bit like this blog really. I have a few notebooks full of these ramblings that I haven't yet dared to read back. Probably best not to really but I don't feel I can throw them away either. However, would starting this again help me get my singing mojo back?

I go through phases of wanting to sing and phases of really not wanting to. It is possibly hormonal. I am of a certain age where shit is going to get real very soon and I will enter a new chapter in the life of being a woman. I won't bore you with this as there are a fair few men who read this blog and I doubt they need or want to know the best way to deal anything vaguely menopausal. We'll draw a line under that right now and go back to trying to sort the rest of my life out.

There's no doubt that my life is pretty good right now. I make a decent living from teaching, I, for the most part, work for myself and don't really have to answer to anyone but there is this deep, little niggle that seems to say "you'll regret it if you give up singing altogether". Fact is, if I keep teaching I will not give up altogether but the only actual singing I seem to do at the moment is when I record guide tracks for my choir or the kids I teach (you should hear my Jingle Bells and I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday - maybe I'll post one). Much as that satisfies a little part of me that wants to sing I'm not sure it's enough.

Unfortunately the longer I leave it the more terrified I get of getting out there again. I wrote a post ages ago about stage fright, I've always had it but, especially as I get older and have more trouble remembering lyrics, it seems to be getting worse. But is that a reason not to do something? They, whoever they are, say you should do something that scares you everyday so maybe that's as good a reason as any to do it.

Anyway that's enough rambling for now. I may give The Artist's Way another go and see if it reignites something or I may just go and have a cup of tea and do a bit of crochet as all potentially menopausal women should do.

Time to get back on the horse then....well, stage, I am actually a little scared of horses.

So, as we established in my last Diary Entry life has begun (So apparently life has begun). Having said that I am writing this whilst lounging about avoiding doing the multitude of chores I should be doing right now. 

I mentioned "The Artist's Way" in "Amazing what a positive attitude can do" a few weeks ago and one thing this book explores is synchronicity. By this they mean the way things seem to happen just when you need them to. Normally you would put it down to coincidence but "The Artist's Way" suggests these coincidences are not coincidences at all. So imagine my feeling when a friend of mine (my excellent friend Carmen Vass in case you are wondering) started telling me about the cabaret she is doing on July 10th and how she thought there was still a slot free should I be interested in having a go. 

Even though every fibre of my being wanted to say no I made myself say yes. This could not be a coincidence. I have been saying for SO long how I have wanted to have a go at cabaret and how I want to put together a one woman show so this opportunity is surely meant to be. I may not be cut out for it in the long run but too often I imagine doing something but never do it for fear of the reality not being as good as the dream. Not this time! Another thing "The Artist's Way" says is to get into the habit of saying "yes". Which is what I am really trying to do. I think my favourite word, up until this point, has been "maybe". 

So now I am desperately trying to put together 25 minutes of songs and mildly amusing chat that it can perform as part of "Cabaret Confidential" at The Pheasantry (Pizza Express on the King's Road, Chelsea) on Thursday July 10th. It will, in theory, be based on this here blog so watch this space for more details as and when they become available. By that I mean when I actually formulate a few thoughts and put something together. If you are free, and fancy a pizza with your entertainment, a few friendly faces in the audience would be very much appreciated.



Go to Pizza Express Live for more info on what is coming up. However, at the time of writing this, the cabaret night I am involved in is not, as yet, listed.

Amazing what a positive attitude can do.....or is it just coincidence?

Just a short diary entry for you today. Although it has been quite a long time since my last post so really it should be a mammoth entry. Of course, I say it is going to be short but if the muse takes me it may turn into the next War and Peace. Perhaps you should go and make a cup of tea, just in case.

Anyway, moving on. The last entry was written with a modicum of anger, or rather frustration at how people treat we singing teachers (actually any one-to-one type teachers). I was feeling a little annoyed by some of my students not giving me enough notice that they weren't coming for their lesson or just simply not turning up and not bothering to tell me. This led to my threatening them with a cancellation fee. I do not want (or really intend) to charge anyone for a missed lesson but I hope that the introduction of this policy will make the people who come to me think about how they go about cancelling a lesson. I should point out my students are wonderful human beings and I love teaching all of them the new policy introduction was just something I had to do for my own sanity. But this post is not really about this. As far as I am concerned the matter has been dealt with and we will say no more about it.

What I wanted to discuss was how things appear to have turned around a bit for me (not on the performing front, that is still as dry as ever, unlike the weather which is ridiculous). Last week I had 12 students booked in for lessons. This has never happened before. The most I have had is 8 (I think). People just suddenly started calling and asking to come for lessons. In the end 9 of the 12 turned up but that will do for me. This week I have 10 booked in and I have my fingers crossed that that will become 11 as I taught an extremely promising girl last week who I think I could work wonders with. My patience is finally starting to pay off (I really I hope I haven't just jinxed things by saying that).

I put this down, in some small part, to a self help book I have been reading over the past couple of weeks. Now I am exceedingly sceptical when it comes to any kind of self help nonsense but now and again I read something that strikes a chord or hits a nerve (I was actually about to write "strikes a nerve" but realised I was mixing my whatchamacallits). The book I am reading is "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. I am pretty sure most of you will have heard of it and, indeed, given it a go. I bought this book about 14 years ago and it has been on my bookshelf, gathering dust for about 13 years, 11 months and 29 days. I was, obviously, not ready for it then.

I am now! I am into the third chapter and some of the things this woman says are like she is in my head and writing down my every thought. So many good things have happened over the past two weeks. I thought them all to be coincidences until I read the section that told me I was going to think all the good things happening to me right now were coincidences. At this point I thought about burning the book as this was surely witchcraft at work. Thankfully I did not and have embraced these "coincidences". 

I am not saying I need therapy but I have always thought myself far too rational and logical to try therapy. Why would I bother going to someone else for help, I already know what they are going to say so what is the point? As it turns out I seem to have conditioned myself into an extremely irrational and illogical state (it is not as bad as it sounds, bear with me). I put obstacles in my own way to stop me doing the things I dream about doing. This book is addressing exactly what I have been feeling for years without realising.

I know I have had a pretty good performing career up until now but I still daydream about singing in big (actually small would do) opera houses or being in a West End musical. I then remind myself I have already done both those things so there is no reason for me not to do them again. I always imagine that the reality would never live up to the dream when in fact I know, categorically, that it would. It did! The reality was far, far better than the dream ever was. My brain just chooses to forget the good things and only remember the bad.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to put together a one-woman show but I would always tell myself that I am not creative enough to do this or that nobody would want to see anything I cobble together. I would tell myself I will do it when I have enough money/more security/have got a job/have more time but none of these things will ever really come to fruition. I will never have enough money, the life I have chosen will never allow me to feel secure, when I have a job I don't feel the need to work on other projects and there will never, ever be enough time. They will remain obstacles. However, this book, this almost magical book, has made me rethink my attitude to doing the things I want to do and just get on and do them. I am not in a huge hurry to do another big musical or opera (don't tell my agent I said that) but I do want to perform something. Something for me.

So today I made a real start on putting together my show. It is in the embryonic stage right now but I think I know what path it will take I just need to organise my thoughts (much, much easier said than done) and try it out. If it doesn't work at least I will have done it. I don't know if it is because I am getting older but I am very driven by the thought that I don't want to get to the stage where I say I wish I had done this or that. I already have enough "what if's" floating around in my head I certainly do not need, or want, anymore.