EVITA! EVITA! EVITA!

Oh my lord, I have just returned home from seeing Evita at the London Palladium starring Rachel Zegler. I had everything crossed that Rachel would be on as, although I do not have a problem with seeing understudies, I missed out on Amber Riley in Dreamgirls, my main reason for booking, as she was ill the night I went and I am a HUGE Rachel Zegler fan since seeing West Side Story and the Hunger Games prequel thing she did (I have not seen Snow White, at the time of writing, as I have heard nothing but bad things about the film as a whole and I am, therefore, scared to watch it) so really hoped I wouldn't miss out this time. Thankfully she and all other principals were on this afternoon and not one of them disappointed.

I will get to the cast in due course but my first bout of praise must go to the musical director, the orchestra and the sound department. Andrew Lloyd Webber has NEVER sounded so good. The orchestrations were electric. Not a single note was out of place, tempos were perfect, it was neither too loud nor too quiet it was quite simply perfection. Bravi a tutti!

As it was a Jamie Lloyd production, sets and costumes were minimalistic but this gave the lighting department the opportunity to throw the kitchen sink in all it's glory at the lighting design. Stunning is all I have to say about that.

So this brings us onto the cast. I apologise that this post is just a load of gushing but I don't have a bad word to say about anyone. Diego Andres Rodriguez was the Che. This was his West End Debut and only the second professional credit in his biography. It was perfect casting and although I am a great believer in actors earning their stripes, it would have been a travesty if this fabulous actor had been overlooked due to lack of experience. He is going places for sure. It's a tricky part really as Che Guevara's inclusion in the story of Eva Peron is contentious, to say the least, as historically they never met, but at least his name is recognisable and he was as prominent in South America as Peron but don't worry this is not a history lesson as I really know nowt. James Olivas was Juan Peron and boy oh boy what a beautiful voice. There was also great work from Aaron Lee Lambert as Magaldi and Bella Brown as the mistress.

So Rachel Zegler, is she worthy of the hype? In a word, YES! Firstly her voice is SO beautiful and she paces the performance brilliantly. She sings with total ease. If I were to have one tiny criticism it might be that it was, vocally, too safe but I went on a Thursday matinee so she is probably very aware that she would have another show to do in the evening so I forgive her. She is not as natural a dancer as those in the ensemble but she holds her own and makes up for it with astonishing energy and commitment to the role. At the beginning of Act 2 a screen is brought in and we watched her sing on the balcony overlooking Argyll Street and I was not prepared for how hard this ingenious bit of staging would hit. When the camera pans across the gathered crowd on the street below it feels like we are watching the crowd that could have gathered to listen to Evita back in the day (albeit with mobile phones held aloft to record this extraordinary moment) and when she finishes the iconic "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" we in the theatre hear the crowd cheering for Eva outside. It is quite spine-tingling. Whoever came up with this is a blooming genius.

Last but by no means least I have to give the ensemble the final word. Back in 2003/4 I was in the ensemble of Jerry Springer: The Opera and we won a collective Olivier Award for Best Performance in a Supporting Role in a Musical, if there is any justice in this world this ensemble should also win a similar accolade. They rarely left the stage and were quite simply dazzling both vocally and physically. Buenos Aries and A New Argentina will live rent-free in my head for the rest of my days. 

Although it is probably unlikely, I would love there to be a cast recording of this production of Evita as it was breath-taking, astonishing, glorious and somewhat life-changing. The whole trip has left me inspired and, just putting it out there, if they do end up recording this cast and need an extra soprano I would be happy to step in!

Life is short and I'll miss you Olivia!

So this year is shaping up to be a repeat of 2016. In 2016 we lost Victoria Wood, George Michael, Alan Rickman, David Bowie and Prince to name but a few. So far in 2022 we have lost the likes of Barry Cryer, Leonard Fenton (Doctor Legg from Eastenders), Lynda Baron, June Brown, Bernard Cribbins and Nichelle Nichols. On Monday Olivia Newton-John was a sad addition to this years list. This is not meant to be a sad post (although I am VERY sad about Olivia), it just got me thinking about how much time I waste doing meaningless things such as binge watching box sets on Netflix and eating far too much all day, every day. Something really needs to change before it's too late.

Don't get me wrong, binge watching box sets on Netflix should not be forbidden BUT it should not be an everyday occurrence and I would love to live by the mantra "Eat to live, don't live to eat". I had already been trying to do something about the amount of time I waste and the amount of food I eat but the news of Olivia Newton-John's passing has caused me to strengthen my resolve and double down on making something more of my life!

To be fair I don't want much out of life. I would like to be happy (I am, but I think I could be happier), I would like to be more tolerant (of all sorts of people and things), I would like to encourage more ladies to join my four choirs because singing is good for the soul, but one thing a definitely want to do is have no regrets about my own singing. 

I stopped performing professionally back in 2015. I didn't intend for Oliver! in Frinton-on-Sea to be my last show but, thus far, this is the case. I am not too sad about this being the last full length musical I ever do as it was one of my favourite jobs (Jerry Springer: The Opera was my absolute fave!) but I don't want to stop singing, for myself, all together. I still sing when teaching the choirs their songs but this is not the same as getting up and singing for an audience. 

Funnily enough I had only been talking about planning new cabarets with a couple of friends earlier today so the news we got today telling us that Sandy from Grease and Kira from Xanadu (my personal favourite ONJ film!) had died has made me think deeply about the fact that life really is very short and should be grabbed with both hands before it's too late.

So, I intend to live as positively as I possibly can and spend more time doing the things I enjoy doing the most (singing) and not spend every bit of spare time I have binge watching nonsense and eating reconstituted potato snacks that are no good for me. This is going to be hard but, I am now ever so determined!

Magic - Olivia Newton John

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all and I want it....at a mutually beneficial time for all concerned.

So, this post may come as a bit of a surprise. I said goodbye in the last diary entry and immediately regretted it because, much as my actual singing career may be going through some changes and the chances of me ever doing another musical are slim to none, I LOVE writing this blog/diary. Whether people want to read it or not is irrelevant. Of course I hope people want to and you are all most welcome to read but the simple fact is I enjoy writing it and I like that I am the Incompetent Soprano and just because I don't have support from certain quarters does not mean I have to throw in the towel on life itself. So, that said, I welcome back the Incompetent Soprano but this Incompetent Soprano is a changed woman. She no longer cares what anyone thinks of her and has new, far more interesting aspirations.

So, why have I gathered you here today? Well, today I spent a lovely few hours with a singer friend I have not seen in a long time. I think it was a meeting that we both needed to happen. We were both in need of a boost and needed a touch of inspiration. Women of a certain age need to assure each other that we are still relevant, still have something to offer and feel that there is a point to, well to life really. We sometimes lose sight of this.

We were talking about the opera business and how it has changed in the 15-20 years since we trained. I think we were there at the real start of the change and, as sensitive souls, we both found, and find, it difficult not to take things personally and had we had a touch of the bravado some of our peers had perhaps we would have gone further in our potential operatic careers. That said, who knows what would have happened in my career had I not taken "Jerry Springer: The Opera" and sidestepped into musical theatre. Of course I would not have changed this for the world, "Jerry Springer" was my favourite ever job, and you can't live life saying "what if?"

However, the fact is we grew up and trained listening to great women of all shapes and sizes singing the great operatic heroines but nowadays it seems that the first thing casting directors look for is what the singer looks like which is why so many singers with small voices are singing roles that are too big for them. This isn't sour grapes I promise and there are some "real" women out there flying the flag for us but I was so ashamed of myself for saying to my friend that there are still plenty of comedy/character parts out there for women like us. Implying that because we are both carrying a little more weight than we would like to that we can only do the parts that require an audience to laugh with (and at) us. Both of us have the ability and talent to do more than just be the light relief.

A few months back I did an audition for Tosca at The King's Head. It was the first operatic audition I had done in years and I worked really hard on my preparation for it. I came out thinking I had done one of the best auditions of my life. When I didn't get it I cried. Convinced I didn't get it because I was too fat. The first time in years I have cried at not getting a job. Of course this was bollocks. There are SO many other reasons I might have not got that job that had nothing to do with my talent. I KNOW I did a great audition and I followed this audition with 4 or 5 other auditions (for musical theatre) that were also some of the best auditions I had done, all of which also led nowhere. In fact they, cumulatively, led me to the decision I made to say goodbye to auditioning. 4 years of no is enough.

And this brings us to today. Slightly lighter of heart and feeling no stress (well, less stress). I still need the break I promised myself from performing but I have irons in the fire and I am starting to create work for myself because if I can not get other people to give me a job I will create my own. I am in control and I am responsible for my happiness and well being. So I now introduce the Incompetent Soprano 2.0 and promise to go back to being vaguely amusing, even though a relative of mine told me I am not funny and should stick to singing. Well fuck you quite frankly, I am going to stick to both!

Can't do right for doing wrong....I think that's how the saying goes.

So, last week I did two auditions. One was a game of two halves and I was disappointed and pleased with myself in equal measure. The other was, quite simply, the best audition I have done in a long, long time. I won't say what either was for as I am still waiting to hear about the second one (although as times ticks on I am becoming less and less hopeful) but I do, sort of, want to discuss them.

The first was musical theatre and I had to do a movement call first. No amount of Zumba-ing makes me feel hugely better about movement calls. I always feel inadequate and a little bit stupid doing them. I try really hard but that little voice in my head always whispers "what the fuck are you doing? Stop pretending you can dance! You look ridiculous". What I should do is invite prospective employers to come and watch me in a Zumba class then they would see I CAN move. However, that is never going to happen and movement calls remain a necessary evil. Having said that, the older I get and the younger everyone else gets going into these auditions makes me think my movement call days are all but over.

So, back to the first audition. If I am honest, I had given up before I got in the room. I KNEW I wasn't right for the role but unfortunately I decided to let everyone else in the room know that before I did anything or said anything which, with hindsight, probably wasn't the right way to go about things. I didn't fit the brief at all but, for some reason I was in the room, looking ridiculous trying to do a dance routine I couldn't really do. I was about to walk out, thinking there is no way I am going to do this in small groups. I will only allow myself a certain amount of humiliation in one day. However at this point I got a reprieve and the director said he had seen enough to know that we could all move and that he wanted to hear us all sing. Phew. No small groups, my dignity was still intact.

The singing bit was fine. I was trying out a new song, totally inappropriate for what I was up for, but nevertheless, it went well and, I think, I redeemed myself a little. Plus, although I had given up 2 and a half hours of teaching to do the audition I was back in time to do Zumba so it wasn't a total waste.

The second saw me sashaying back into the world of opera. This was my second operatic audition in the last 6 months. Before this I had not done an audition for an opera since 2010 therefore, I suppose, it was a little arrogant of me to be hopeful that I would get this one. That said I think I did myself proud and, as far as opera goes, this was the best I had sung an aria since about 2005 which has made me question what I am doing now. I did not make a mistake taking the job in "Jerry Springer: The Opera" all those years ago and I wouldn't change the majority of my career thus far for anything but I do wonder if I gave up on the opera thing a little too easily. Anyway, what ifs don't help anyone. I can't change anything but I do have to think very carefully about where I go from here. No matter what I do I get nowhere and can't help but think is it time to stop putting myself through it.

Of course, I know the answer to this is yes I will keep putting myself through it, however, I think it now has to be on my terms. I will keep auditioning, even for the things I know I'm not right for because I might be right for the thing the MD or director is doing next and they might remember me for that, and I will smarten up my attitude. Nobody likes a sour puss so I am going to practice smiling when I don't want to smile and ridding myself of my bitchy resting face. That's a lot to think about so I'd better get on with it.

EUROVISION........AAARRGGHH.....Plus a bit of BGT.

So Eurovision is upon us again. Anyone who truly knows me knows this is my favourite time of year. From that moment in 1981 when Bobby and Mike ripped off the skirts belonging to Cheryl and Jay I was hooked. If Bucks Fizz had not existed chances are I would not have become irrevocably attached to this magical institution.

I actually have little to say on the subject, as yet, as I have only seen the semi finals. I reckon we stand a chance with this year's homegrown offering, but then I have always been a sucker for anything Charleston based. For those who switch off at the mere mentioning of Eurovision, we have sent Electro Velvet to represent us this year with a cheeky 1920s inspired song which I think is simply smashing, although I think I may be in the minority. Of course if we don't win we will blame it on tactical voting and the fact that Europe, nay the World, hates us.

The first semi final was a bit of a let down, a damp squib if you will. There seemed to be a plethora of ballads and a distinct lack of novelty. Lots of worthy songs about the planet and children but no fluff. This saddens me. As did the Finland entry not getting through. I think they had a strong song, Eurovisionally speaking, but they failed to make the cut. How Armenia got through I will never know. The second semi final was far more promising with wonderful offerings from Israel and Sweden. They played snippets from the countries already through and I look forward to Spain and Australia too. Unfortunately Australia don't truly understand Eurovision and have sent a song that is far too good so it will be interesting to see how that goes down. Of course, if they win we, the United Kingdon, may get a shot at hosting again as the contest won't be held in Australia. At least it would feel like we won. I, for one, can not wait for tomorrow night.

Onto other business. I have been meaning to write a few words in support of Alison Jiear's attempts at world domination (vocally speaking) on the ever popular "Britain's Got Talent". BGT is a guilty pleasure of mine I must admit (actually BGMT - Britain's Got More Talent is my true guilty pleasure. I have overwhelming yearnings to get my hands on Stephen Mulhearn) so the fact a true superstar has stepped up to the plate is going to make this series all the more sweeter.

I hate to be one of those people who pertain to know people and jump on bandwagons but I have a rather splendid claim to fame when it comes to Alison Jiear. I played her mother, Irene, in "Jerry Springer: The Opera" way back when. Ali was Shawntel, a curvaceous woman with aspirations to be a pole dancer. There is DVD evidence of this as it was shown on BBC2 and consequently put out on DVD (the last copy I saw in an actual shop was in Poundland, Wolverhampton!). I was not her original show mother, that accolade goes to the incomparable Valda Aviks, I just had the good fortune of being in the right place at the right time when she left, I was in the ensemble and Valda's first cover, so they gave me the opportunity to take on the job full time.

I joined the cast of Jerry not long after it opened to fill the gap left by Elen Mon Wayne who was going off to have babies (twins hence baby, plural) and the first time I heard Ali sing was on a cassette recording of the show I was given to aid my quick learning of the piece. From the moment "I just wanna dance" started I knew I would never tire of listening to her sing that song. I never did. I had goose bumps every single time she sang it (it is a blooming good song anyway, she just did something with it that took it to another place).

I can not express how pleased I am that she has taken the incredibly brave step of putting herself out there in this way. I know some people do not look favourably on "pros" (professional performers not the other type of pro!) having a go at these talent shows and think only people who work in Tesco or B&Q (other shops are available) should be allowed screen time but I say no! There are so many of us "pros" who get overlooked and find they can not move their career to the next level (I am not saying this is why Ali is doing it, her reasons are her own, I say this to show you the reasons I might, one day, have a go) and a teeny tiny bit of televisual exposure goes an awfully long way.

So The Incompetent Soprano is deffo Team Ali and may actually vote when the time comes. Although, maybe I shouldn't as whoever I vote for, in anything, never wins. This is the exact same reason that I will probably not vote for anyone in Eurovision either. I would hate to jinx it for someone.