Sing for your supper....well, sing for wine.

Bonjour all. So a couple of weeks ago I did my first gig in 7 months. 7 months since I had sung in public, in front of paying punters. This is nothing short of ridiculous. Although, as always, I am contemplating packing in the actress/singer/bingo caller thing in to become a full time singing teacher and coach. Never has the urge to throw in the towel been stronger actually, as times they are a changing and I find myself being forced (in a good way) to think about what on earth I am doing with my life.

For the past few months I have been doing the odd audition, teaching 4 days a week and, for the rest of the time, sitting on my derrière doing very little. This is because I have a tendency to bury my head in the sand or hope things will change for the better without me having to do anything to bring about these longed for changes. However, my hand is being forced and I will have to dig my head out of the sand and make a few decisions for a change.

Anyway, this was not meant to be the subject of this diary entry, 'twas the gig business. I was approached by an old friend to do this concert a couple of months back and her opening gambit to me was this:

"I hope you are well.

I know you hate being asked to perform without a fee so please feel free to tell me to f**k off immediately rather than put me on Facebook."

This is just the sort of message I love so immediately said yes (don't get ideas though fellow Incompetents, this was a friend asking). She did say I would be rewarded with wine and that is good enough for me. I actually do not mind performing for free if it is for charity or to help out a friend. I do draw the line at profit share shows and the like as these affairs can take up a lot of time, time I could be earning money. Well this concert was a gig for charity, and an interesting and worthwhile charity at that (of course most charities are worthwhile but some get more recognition than others so it was nice to help a smaller organisation). My friend runs a choir, Bermondsey Voices, and the charity they were supporting is local to Bermondsey, the ROBES Project (check them out at www.robes.org.uk). If you live anywhere near Bermondsey and fancy joining a choir you should think about joining Bermondsey Voices, a thoroughly lovely bunch of people out for a good time (through singing!).

Anyway, back to me. The really good thing about this gig was there were, precisely, 3 people in the room who knew me and, as I had chosen 2 comedy songs to sing it was a good test to see if I was actually funny or if my friends were just indulging me at the last 2 cabaret gigs I did. My level of insecurity is such that I often think people are indulging or putting up with me and rarely believe them when they praise me. Most of my friends know this is what I am like and, thankfully, do put up with me. Well I think, think, I can safely say people find me funny as there was laughter a plenty and should I decide not to do a full on show again I know I want to keep singing and doing the cabaret stuff, at least part time.

BTW if anyone knows the people who find the singing coaches for all these reality TV singing shows, point them in my direction. I could definitely do that job!

Oh, and if you fancy joining Bermondsey Voices, their website is www.bermondseyvoices.co.uk

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on YOU!

So a few weeks ago I was supposed to do a concert. It didn't happen. There are many reasons it did not happen, none of which you need to know about. However, I have learned some fairly interesting lessons and the past few weeks have led to a change in my attitude towards working for nothing.

I have been doing this job, this singing lark, for a long time and we singers/actors are a sensitive bunch (it's not just me). It goes with the territory. We need reassurance from time to time. We need to feel wanted, to feel valued. It's not that we need to be praised constantly we just need to know what we are doing is, basically, OK. We need to know what we are doing is not awful. 

As the years go by I feel less and less bothered by what other people think of how I sing. I think this is because I have been doing more work on my own, or just me and a pianist. We, between us, decide how we are going to put something across. We do it for us and, not necessarily, for anyone else. Of course I want people to enjoy what we do but I try not to feel judged or upset if someone does not enjoy the fruits of our labour. I am not self indulgent when programming. If a song I don't much care for works in a programme I will sing it and find a way to enjoy it. I always consider the audience's needs as well as my own when putting sets together. It is essential that I make myself happy, though, and as time marches on this becomes more and more important. There is no point in pursuing this career if it doesn't make me happy. Life is short (my new found obsession with Grey's Anatomy has taught me that) and I am fed up of doing things simply to make others happy. Particularly when my attempts to make others happy goes unnoticed. I am not looking for thanks and praise for helping but I do not appreciate being taken advantage of.

I should have realised what I'm worth years ago and put a stop to the constant advantage-taking but I am, for the most part, a nice person and I like seeing other people succeed. All I ask for in return is respect and hope that people will not assume that they can walk all over me because they did it before and I did not complain. I love getting involved in projects in their infancy. Seeing where they go, hoping they work out, hoping they lead to bigger and better things for the project's creator. Lack of money does not worry me, I will work for very little (often for cake) if I like the sound of the project or like the instigator of said project. I suppose you could say, at times, I do allow myself to be taken advantage of but, sometimes, I don't mind. I just don't understand how anyone can allow themselves to constantly be the advantage-takers of people who are trying to help them. We performers, particularly the nice ones, deserve better.

There are times when working for little or no money is appropriate. I am not totally against profit share or similar schemes. However, goodwill only goes so far. If you want to produce something of a professional standard using professional artists you have to be prepared to treat them like professionals and not expect they should be grateful just to be involved. Treating someone professionally does not necessarily mean you pay them the big bucks when you can't afford it. Just don't take the p**s. 

So, to all those who are "creating opportunities" take note, if someone is giving themselves, their time, their talent for basically nothing this should be cherished. This person should feel like what they are doing is appreciated. I, personally, did not choose this career to make pots of money but it is my career. I am not an amateur and if I am willing to give my time for nothing that is a big deal. Yes we want to be out there performing and, to a certain extent, we relish the opportunity to get out there whatever the circumstances but I have seen too many producers expect performers to be down-on-their-knees grateful that they have been given the chance to perform and not be rewarded financially. The performers, not the producers, are expected to kowtow and give thanks. It should be the other way round!

Apologies that the above post is lacking in festive cheer. I had written it, or a version of the above, a few weeks ago but hadn't wanted to post until now. However, I must take this opportunity to thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a sensational New Year.

PS if you are at a loose end on February 22nd you could always come to this:

Booking is now open so follow the link to get your tickets. You can eat pizza while I sing. Win win!

How Did it come to this? (Booking)