Believe in yourself, they said.

So, I did a little gig on Sunday. Actually, there are no little gigs, it was simply a gig. Once again, I have not sung in public for a LOOOOONNNNGGGG time so I was a bit irrationally nervous. Small meltdown was experienced in the rehearsal but I pulled myself together and made myself get out on the stage.

It was a very mixed bag. First half was classical with a few operatic moments. I have not sung an aria in public since about 2005 so this was a little daunting. Rightly or wrongly I sang two arias I used to sing all the time so I wasn't sure I would still be able to sing them or if my voice might have moved on and left them behind. I think, think!, they were OK. the first was Quando m'en vo, Musetta's aria from "La Boheme". Not a role I would ever be cast as but it is a crowd pleaser and I knew I wouldn't forget the words. A bit like if I were ever called upon the sing Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go I would have no problem recalling the words. I can't say it brings me joy to sing Musetta, and, as we know if you read my last blog post, Tidy House, Tidy Mind, I am all about the joy. The second aria I sang was a whole other kettle of fish. 

Pamina's Ach Ich Fuhl's (apologies to my German friends, I can't add the umlaut to the u) from "The Magic Flute" was always in my operatic audition arsenal so of course I decided to include the most exposing aria (almost) ever written to reintroduce myself to the world operatically. That said, I didn't think about any of that when I sang it. I was never worried that it would go wrong and it didn't. I was poised and calm (apart from a slightly shaky leg) and my voice didn't waver. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I delivered the greatest ever rendition of this aria just that it was the best I have ever sung it as I did not let any of those niggling voices in my head anywhere near it and that is a new thing for me.

I feel I have turned a small corner (can corners be small?) as far as my confidence on stage goes. I was totally in the moment and could not be distracted by my own, usual, need to sabotage myself. I totally believed in myself and my ability. Thankfully this confidence oozed into the second half of the concert. Well some of it.

As it was a concert with a love theme (it was nearly Valentine's Day) I was forced to sing All I Ask of You from "The Phantom of the Opera". I had not sung it before and I hope never to sing it again. Not because I don't like it, it's not up there with my faves but it is pretty OK to sing, but because I just could not remember the words, and there weren't that many of them. I did, nonetheless, get to finally perform a song I always used to use for musical theatre auditions, when appropriate. Like Love from "Charlie Girl" is a bit of a party piece and, to be totally honest, I don't know why I don't sing it ALL the time. So, I thought I'd let you lot have a listen. I might pop a recording of the Pamina on here at some point but you'll have to make do with this for now!

PS Sorry about all the pics of me, just an attempt at making it more visually interesting.