Sunday 1 February 2015

3 weeks to go.....honestly not sure how I feel about that!

So, having waited 7 months, the day of my cabaret is fast approaching. In my head it is going to be a triumph. People will laugh, people will cry (for the right reasons), everyone will leave unable to wait for the next one. Hmmm, that's how it goes for about 5 seconds before a veil of impending doom descends over my head. It is too late to get out of it now so it will happen and I hope for the best but prepare for the worst. The worst being I forget my words all over the place, nobody laughs and there is a constant stream of tumbleweed passing before my feet throughout.

To be fair this is how I feel before most performances. I was listening to a radio interview with the fabulous actress Juliet Stevenson the other day and she said before she goes on for a performance she always thinks "Is it too late to retrain as a midwife?" I yelled "YES" at the radio because that is almost exactly what I think before going on stage (I sometimes change the profession). I just have to keep telling myself it will be fine and if it's not it will still happen and people will forget about it soon enough.

I don't mean to sound defeatist and pessimistic I just feel a lot of pressure. Pressure that I have applied myself. No one else has made me feel I HAVE to be good. The friends who intend to come are coming to support me not to see me fail which means I won't fail (even if I do forget my words). 

Anyway, worrying aside, the countdown to Sunday 22nd February has begun. Barring disaster it will come and it will go. Whether it is deemed a success or not is irrelevant the fact I am putting myself out there is more than enough for me. They say you should do something that scares you every day well I think this will be the equivalent of a months worth of scariness.

So if you fancy a bit of song and pizza please come along to The Pheasantry (Pizza Express, King's Road, London) on the 22nd.

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