Saturday, 27 October 2018

A girl can change her mind!

So, it has been a while (understatement). I don’t actually know if anyone wants to read this stuff anymore but I will keep putting out there when the muse takes me, for now. I’m actually writing this in the name of procrastination. There are many, many other things I should be doing but I simply have not got the energy or inclination to anything but write this.

I have had a lot to think about over the past few months and I think I’ve made some decisions about how to move forward over the next year. In past posts I have talked about waiting for something to happen or feeling like something is going to happen. I now realise this is not the case. If I wait for things to fall into my lap nothing will ever change and I’ll be no better off than I am now in years to come and I will find I’ve squandered life and achieved precisely nothing from age 40 onwards. Either that or you will find me, unshowered, sitting on my sofa watching reruns of Tenable (my new favourite game show). I am lucky that I have done interesting things in the past. I’ve done a bit of travelling, seen a bit of the world but with my dreadful memory I need to be making memories (not a fan of that phrase but it is appropriate) now so I remember interesting things that have happened to me and not just what happened on Homes Under the Hammer yesterday.

So at the moment the majority of my time is crammed full of teaching at after school theatre/dance schools, private teaching at home and prep for The Songsations (my choir keeps me sane). This was never the plan and I HAVE to address it NOW or I will get to 50 and not have moved forward at all. Therefore I have decided I need a 2 year plan to change my life! Having said that, the situation might not change hugely. At the moment I am loving teaching. I think the thing I didn’t/don’t like about teaching is the preparation. This takes me back to procrastination which is at the root of all my troubles and woes. I have a definite tendency towards laziness and will find anything to do rather than do the things that need to be done now.

However, last night I went to a performance given by students at one of the schools I teach at and I came away feeling quite inspired. Over 300 children were involved and they put on a really professional show. They sang their hearts out and danced their socks off and, as some of the students on the stage were my students, I realised that I had helped that happen and it made me feel proud of them and of me. I, in some very small way, played a part in helping those children feel confident enough to get on a stage in front of all those people.

So where does this leave me and my indecisive brain? Who knows! But, what I do now know is that if I put in a little bit of extra work over the next few days and make sure all of my prep is done for my teaching and the choir, instead of resorting to daytime TV,  I might then find I have a bit more time for myself and, you never know, I might get around to sorting out that cabaret I have been threatening you all with for SO long.