So, you lucky people, I write nothing for weeks and here you get two Diary Entries in quick succession. You are welcome!
Anyway, I thought I would keep you up to date with a few things that are occurring in my Incompetent world. After months of threatening I finally changed agents (thanks to Julie Stark who made it happen!). I am now represented by Keddie Scott Associates. People have actually heard of this one! So when I say who my agent is now they nod approvingly.
With this change came three auditions. I had had no auditions for about a year, partly because I had wanted to concentrate on my teaching and therefore the situation was partly self inflicted, so this was quite daunting *.
The first 2 went surprisingly well. Didn't get anywhere with them, but I was happy. I wasn't particularly nervous and everything went to plan, however, number three was a different kettle of fish.
The first two were auditions for things I didn't really want to get and I was singing a song I knew inside out for them so they didn't prove problematic and were a great way to get back into the swing of things. Number 3 I really, really wanted. Well, I say I wanted it. The job would have involved being on a cruise ship for 8 months starting in America. I get terribly seasick and I HATE flying so would I actually have wanted to do the job when push came to shove?
I had piled on the pressure but I knew my stuff. I had a song and script to learn which I did. I was ready for it but when I opened my mouth to sing a wobbly, unsupported sound was expelled from my mouth. I was shouting at myself (in my head) to pull myself together, which I did eventually. Also, as I say to all my students, it always sounds worse in your head than it does to the listener. It was not a total disaster as they wanted to hear something else but, as I have been out of the audition loop for so long, my "book" (folder with loads of different songs in different styles) is a little sparse and there wasn't much for them to choose from but choose they did and I got a second shot. This felt better. I was told to wait outside as they said "we need to have a chat about you" in such a way that implied it was going to be a difficult debate. I did as I was told only to be informed a few minutes later that that was all they needed from me (the recall was the following day so that was that).
I will never know what they actually thought, what it was that didn't work for them, why they didn't want to see me again. I can guess but I will never know for sure. Such is the life I, and many like me, lead. The whole experience was positive though, apart from feeling very angry with myself for letting my nerves get in the way. I went home and immediately started working on adding songs to my audition book. I am determined to have a song for every eventuality in there. Although, having said that I am the laziest person I know. I have contemplated selling my car and buying a new one so I don't have to clean it, so I have set myself quite a task to learn so much new repertoire.
The most important thing I have taken away from this last week of auditions is that I really would like to get myself a singing job of some description, at some point, in the very near future. That is not to say life is bad right now. I teach a fair bit and I don't hate teaching, I really do love it. However, I don't love it as much as I love singing. I can teach when I am old. So, unfortunately (hopefully) the teaching will have to take a backseat for a while.
*I actually had four auditions set up (so far) this month. The first one I did was one my old agent had got me. Typical really, the moment I decide to leave them an audition comes up. No regrets mind!
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