Those of you who really know me will tell those of you who are not as familiar with me I don't function well in this sort of heat. It upsets me. I love the sun and I love summer but the heat we get in this country does not fill me with joy. It tires me out and wears me down. Therefore, for probably the first time in my career, I am SO happy not to be in a show at the moment. I would be crying, A LOT, if I was. Those of you who are in shows - HURRAY. But also know I really feel for you having to wear heavy costumes while I sit, in my underwear, in front of a fan. Crikey there is an image you don't want in your head so boys (and girls who are so inclined) think of Mila Kunis - No1 in the FHM 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2013. And girls (and boys who are so inclined) think of, well according to Cosmopolitan we should be thinking of Orlando Bloom! I am going to suggest we go for number 2, Bradley Cooper but it is really up to you.
Before we delve into The Guildhall Years of my life I thought we could think about what we theatricals do when we are not in a long running show. In the past I have gotten "proper jobs". I have worked in shops at ENO, The Royal Opera House and Westminster Abbey, a box office, stacked shelves in Debenhams, I have been a tour guide at Oxford's premier tourist attraction "The Oxford Story" (I recommend a visit, you travel round in a little car, it is VERY exciting) and worked in a Post Office on an RAF Base (not as exciting as it sounds. Most of the customers were wives of the airmen). But this time I am not going to do it (never say never! A girl has got to eat). I am determined to get by taking on a variety of little jobs that will tide me over until the next big job or until I become the singing teacher everyone HAS to go to.
So what am I doing in this incessant heat to keep the wolf from the door? So far, nothing illegal (again never say never. Dominatrix has been suggested and I AM thinking about it). I am teaching a few hours a week and have become a quite successful mystery shopper (don't ask me where. If I tell you I will have to kill you!). That is about it on the money making front at the moment but, as a constant worrier, I have surprised myself at how unworried I am.
The most important thing to do with all this time I have been given is to use it productively. I started writing this diary, which I love (even though I have kept you waiting for this entry). Before I started writing it I had not been feeling very well at all and, not being a hypochondriac, was sure it was life threatening (it really wasn't), but as soon as I started writing this all my symptoms went away and I felt so much better. I am putting together a cabaret/one woman show to be based on my Diary of an Incompetent Soprano (if anyone can think of any songs about not being very good at stuff please let me know. Leave a comment with song suggestions at the end of this. All genres considered). I have been swimming (it keeps me cool in this heat). I am looking at new roles to learn. And last but not least my Phantom friends will be happy to learn that I am still crocheting furiously.
So there you have it and so ends today's exceptionally short diary entry. I was supposed to be at a concert on Sunday which I had intended to write about but life got in the way and I did not make it. I have more to see over the coming weeks so I will report back as and when. I mean it about song suggestions by the way. Please help a girl out. The weirder the better as far as I am concerned.
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